i have no idea what i am doing apple pie

today, to start the month off well i decided to make an apple pie with some sad apples that i found about the house. trouble is, i’ve never made a pie in my life. Nigella failed me, so i decided to improvise based on what i thought that an apple pie should contain.

ingredients:
– 2 Fiji apples
– 2 smaller type apples
– 4 tablespoons of maple syrup
– 1 tablespoon flour
– cinnamon, ground
– nutmeg, ground
– splash of vanilla
– 1/3 cup Splenda
– zest of half a lemon, and it’s juice

instructions:

1. (i used some pie crusts that i found in the freezer.) line the bottom of the pie tin with a pie crust, and stick it in the freezer for about 30mins.

2. peel the apples, and then cut them into slices; removing the core.

3. then i mixed the apples with maple syrup because i had no brown sugar, but a lot of maple syrup brought from Canada. (?) also mix in flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, lemon zest and juice, vanilla, and sugar. toss it all together with a spoon.

4. for the top crust of the pie, i used a cookie cutter and cut out shapes to cover the pie.

5. take out the pie crust that you put in the freezer and pour in the apple filling. try to level it out a little if apple slices are sticking out at weird angles.

6. then i put a couple pieces of cold butter here and there on the top of the apples. not a lot. then i put the cookie cut pieces of pie crust and generally covered the pie.

7. using the white of one egg i used some paper towel (i’m a hobo and have no brush. i even had to use a can of Pepsi as a rolling-pin to roll some of the pie crust for the cut outs.) to gently brush on some of the egg white onto the top of the pie. i discovered that egg white wash is really gross.

8. place in oven at 375°F for 45mins.

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Posted on July 1, 2011, in recipe and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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